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Book Review: John Dies at the End and This Book is full of Spiders; Seriously, Dude, Don’t Touch it.

“Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming you do not go utterly mad in the attempt. If you already happen to know the awful secret behind the universe, feel free to skip ahead.”

These books may seem like a strange choice for my first review here on WordPress; they aren’t new, or particularly popular. They are firmly rooted in the ‘weird fiction’ category. I can see why people wouldn’t be rushing to pick them up, but let me tell you, those people are fools.

These books are fantastic.

“STOP. You should not have touched this book with your bare hands. NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late. They’re watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.

What’s it about: John and Dave are best described as directionless. They are early-to-mid-twenties guys who aren’t quite ready to grow up. They drink to much, work too little, always forget to call on mother’s day. You know the type. They are the kind of guys who would probably be looked down on every day of their lives. But now it’s up to these guys to save the world.


These books are like Harold and Kumar meets H.P. Lovecraft. They are written by David Wong, one of the writers of Cracked.com and if you’re a reader of Cracked, they are just as funny as you would expect them to be. The best genre I have heard them assigned to is metaphysical horror, but they really are so unique that I find pigeon holing them quite difficult. They are both brilliant and demented in equal measure. They are confusing and utterly bizarre, but they sort of need to be to tell this kind of story. They are mind-bending, and definitely not for those who like their stories to run within the confines of straight lines. Nor are they for those who cant stand a little gore. As I said, demented.

There are lot of dick jokes though, like, it is a cock forest in there. But they are far more insightful and clever than their crassness would have you believe. John Dies at the end is fun and down right wacky and it is a damn good read. The highlight of this series really is the second book (This Book is Full of Spiders) though, which really improves several orders of magnitude compared to its predecessor. This book is full of spiders is absolutely brilliant. It is executed perfectly with so many strands woven seamlessly together. Even the chapters from the perspective of Molly the dog are flawless. The characterisation in this second book also improves dramatically to the point where the main cast of this book are all among my top favourite characters of all time. The actually improve so much that I don’t want to discuss it as I feel like it will ruin experiencing the journey yourself. This second book is not without its ridiculous aspects though, one particular piece of crassness is over the top and distracts from the brilliance of the book as a whole. The books are ridiculous and poignant and laugh-out-loud funny and horrific, one right after the other, and I love them.

I would definitely recommend this series to anyone who likes their books a little deranged.

John Dies at the End 5/5 stars


This Book is full of Spiders 6/5 stars. It’s that good. 



1 Comment

  1. Pingback: Halloween Reads! | Read the Bloody Book

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